#he looks so good in this episode I can’t

[its-luna-noel]

bellesa house

episode 1, satoru & you (sensual)

"Welcome to Bellesa House, where we let performers tell us who they want to have sex with and why." pornstar!jjk men x pornstar!reader

warnings: 18+, MDNI, f!reader, pornstar!au, older reader & younger gojo (like mid-30s and mid-20s respectively), based on bellesa house, sensuality, sensual porn

word count: 2.8k next: episode 2, suguru & you

masterlist | link to ao3

notes: hi there, here's another fic idea i just couldn't shake, based on bellesa house, a porn project w/ the above description. most scenes are split into one of three categories: sensual, passionate, or rough; so, each chapter will also be labeled as such! (if you're a porn person and haven't checked out bellesa, this is my psa). next up is geto:) thanks for reading!

You’re propped up in a bed with half a dozen pillows, dressed in blue lacy lingerie, staring down a camera on a tripod.

It’s something you’ve done hundreds of times.

You give the camera your performer name, offering a coy little smile that’s become your signature. You’ve been doing porn for years now, and when the production team came to you to pilot a new concept – to play house with another performer of your choosing – you, of course, chose Satoru Gojo.

A young buck on the scene, he’s only been in a couple dozen videos total, but he’s already the new heartthrob at the studio, with his big, charming smile and pretty blue eyes. You’ve heard he’s good, too, fantastic on camera and a sweetheart off it.

Satoru chose you because he thinks you’re hot.

Hey, he’s always had a thing for older women, and he knows you’re not that much older than him, but it still makes him hard to think of what you could do with all that experience. It also feels good to know you want to fuck him too as he climbs into the bed for his own interview.

“So,” begins the director, smiling past the camera to the young rising star on the bed, “how are you feeling, knowing the first time you meet your co-star will be here on camera?”

Satoru shrugs his muscular shoulders, smiling a little. “It’s not that different from what I usually do; most of the time we meet on set and an hour later we’re in the middle of a scene. So, I’m not too uncomfortable with it.”

“How does it feel to be working with an industry favorite?”

He chuckles, then, his smile growing as he lowers his eyes, playing almost bashful. “That’s a little more intimidating, I guess. Obviously I’ve seen her work; I just hope I can live up to the great stuff she puts out.”

The video cuts to your interview, to your teasing smile at the camera as you lean back casually against the pillows, looking decadent in your lingerie. The director speaks again from behind the camera, “So, when we bring him in here, do you think you guys will talk, will you get straight to it…?”

You hum thoughtfully, that same smile still curling your lips as you tilt your head. “The young ones are always so eager to get started and skip the awkward introductions, so I’m guessing we’ll just dive in. But who knows! Maybe he’ll surprise me.”

“Alright, well, the next time that door opens, he’ll be coming in, and you guys can do whatever you want!” Your director gives you a supportive thumbs up from behind the camera; she trusts you to make whatever you do together good. You’ve never let her down before. Then, “Action!”

The sleek white door swings open, and there stands Satoru, feigning a casual air with his hands in the pockets of his joggers. He’s got that smile on his face, and you can’t help but return the expression as you wave him in encouragingly. “Hi!” you greet enthusiastically, propping yourself up on your knees on the bed.

Your comforting air seems to put him a little more at ease; he walks in, easing himself onto the edge of the bed beside you. His pretty blue eyes take in the set of lingerie you’re wearing – something that matches those eyes. You look amazing, so fucking sexy he’s already growing hard at the sight of you. Then he looks back up at your face, finding you still smiling, and he smiles back before leaning in slightly. “It’s nice to meet you,” he says softly, and you both giggle a little, clearly letting your nerves run a little higher now that you’re meeting each other for the first time.

You lean in, too, still laughing softly, until your nose brushes his. “Nice to meet you, too,” you whisper, and then you part your lips, inviting him to meet you halfway.

He does, his lips pushing against yours, already hard and desperate. You can tell he’s still a little nervous, diving right in instead of pacing himself for the camera, and so you put a gentle hand on the side of his face, fingers stroking the strong line of his jaw. You’re trying not to intimidate him, but that’s hard when you have over a thousand videos under your belt and he has maybe 20. He feels your touch and understands, wants to follow your lead, so he tries to shake himself and slow down.

It’s just a scene, doesn’t matter that she’s the sexiest and most experienced co-star he’s ever had.

His lips slow against yours, now taking the time to taste your mouth, your minty fresh breath and the berry chapstick you have on. Your tongue is phenomenal, slipping against his with practiced ease as you lick into his mouth, and he licks right back with the vitality and enthusiasm of a young performer.

You’ve almost forgotten what that spark feels like. A similar one, after years of being dormant, flares to like deep in your belly.

You kiss for a couple minutes before you let your hand wander from the side of his face, down his neck, to his torso. His chest and belly are muscular under his t-shirt, and you can feel every subtle tightening of those muscles while you touch him. His hands follow, coming to rest on your bare arms, bringing you closer to his body. You arch your back, curving into his chest while he continues to kiss you, and then you move your touch from his belly down to the hard bulge in the front of his sweatpants.

You can tell by feel that he’s one of the bigger men you’ve worked with.

He lets you touch him unhindered for a few moments before he brings his own fingers down to stroke between your thighs, feeling a spreading wetness on the thin fabric of your panties. You both focus on heavy petting for a while, getting each other aroused while your mouths continue moving against each other.

You have to hand it to him; he’s good at what he does.

Once you’re finally wet and feeling ready to take the scene further, you gently push him backwards onto the bed, crawling over him until you’re straddling his hips. You pull away from the kiss enough to smile down at him, and he smiles back, seeming dazzled by you as you dip your fingers into the elastic waistband of his joggers. You pull those down first, and he helps you get them free of his ankles before you toss the fabric aside onto the floor.

You can see the imprint of his dick against his boxers, and now you’re pretty sure he’s one of the biggest you’ve seen. It’s a pleasant surprise; no wonder he’s a rising star on the scene.

You lean forward, pressing your cheek to his thigh, nuzzling playfully and grinning up at him. “You ready?” you ask, for his benefit, knowing it’ll be edited out in post.

He chuckles quietly, and your tummy flutters at the sound; he’s got a good laugh, too. He brushes your hair into one hand, gently guiding your mouth towards the straining bulge of his cock. “Ready,” he confirms.

You grip the waistband of his tight, Calvin Klein boxer briefs and slowly, achingly, pull them down his legs.

You let yourself take a good look as you toss aside the fabric, assessing how much work you’ll have to put in; a lot, is the answer. He’s massive, long and pink and beautiful. Mouthwatering. You’re practically drooling as you settle between his legs and, glancing up at him through your lashes, let your tongue slip out from between your lips and take a taste.

He lets out a soft sigh, eyes watching your every move as you start licking his tip, short little laps that drive him crazy. His hand tightens in your hair, just enough to signal to you that he’s ready.

Or, he thought he was.

When you lean in and take him in the hot, wet cavern of your mouth, he’s already seeing starts at how fucking good your tongue feels swirling around his head. You bring your hands up and grip the base of his cock, squeezing lightly, before you take him a little deeper.

Satoru can’t hold back moans so whiny it’s almost pathetic; you’re sucking him off so well, both hands stroking his length slowly as your mouth bobs over his blushing tip, cheeks hollowed like you want to suck him dry. Then you move your hands and dive down until he’s shoved as far down your throat as you can take, staying there for a moment as your throat closes down around him on every side. His head drops back to the pillows as he lets out another whine, and then you pull back, hands coming back to his base as you suck the tip.

It feels so fucking good that he’s scared he’s gonna cum already.

So he pulls you off of him, guiding you down onto your belly on the bed. “Arch for me,” he murmurs in your ear, and you do, back arched so beautifully that he can’t wait to watch the tape on his own time and screenshot this pose for him to keep. He grabs the back of his shirt and yanks it off, leaving his muscular body on display for the cameras as he pushes your lacy blue panties to the side, arousal already drenching the thin fabric and sticking it to your pussy.

He hums in delight at the sight of your gorgeous folds, and he leans in, pressing a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss to your lower lips, like he’s making out with your cunt from behind. You let out a moan into the mattress, arching further to force your hips back into his face. He grins against you before grabbing the flesh of your hips, holding you in place while he pushes deeper, past your outer folds to lick a line of heat from your clit to the lower corner of your pussy. Then he moves his mouth back to your clit, his nose bumping against the wet entrance to your cunt while his tongue laps greedily at it. His hands move down to grab the fat of your ass, thumbs spreading you apart to expose you more to his mouth and eyes while he eats you out from the back.

You’re making such delicious noises, not just for the camera, but because his mouth is just that good. He hums again, this time with your clit against his tongue, before he takes the swollen bundle between his lips and sucks softly. Your hips jolt against his face, and he lets go with a lewd pop, before flicking his tongue over your clit again, taking his time to work you up towards your orgasm.

“Oh my god…” you breathe, lashes fluttering as your eyes close to the ecstasy. “Feels so good…”

“Yeah?” he mumbles into your cunt, eyes closed, too, as he tastes how fucking sweet you are. “Want something to cum on?”

You moan at his words, hips bucking backwards again, like you’re trying to chase down your high… He pulls away before you can get there, grinning cheekily when you whimper. “Aww,” he croons, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before grabbing your hips and rolling you over onto your back, “it’s okay. I’ll make you cum; I promise.”

“You better,” you tease back, reaching up to slide the straps of your bodysuit off your shoulders and down your arms, pooling the lace around your waist, “or I’ll be very disappointed in you.”

He takes the fabric the rest of the way off, still grinning as he looks at your perfect body, one he’s seen in dozens of videos with his hand wrapped around his own cock, making himself cum to the sound of your moans. It’s a dream come true to be filming with you, and he lets himself remember that fact before he leans over you, reaching down to align himself with your dripping, fluttering entrance. He glances into your eyes for a moment, checking that you’re alright, and the look in your eyes is such a clear affirmative that he can’t hold back anymore.

He pushes inside you slowly, both of you letting out soft, broken moans in unison as he sheaths himself in you.

Then, once he’s fully seated inside you, your cunt squeezing around him, so wet and warm and fucking perfect, he pulls back and starts to fuck you slowly, sensually.

He grabs your thighs and wraps them around his hips, and your heels press into his ass with every thrust, holding him that much closer, that much deeper. He groans, lips parted as he pants softly, his hips rocking in smooth, fluid motions.

Your lips are parted, too, as you reach down to rub your clit with the pads of your fingers, drawing aching circles– Satoru bumps your hand away and takes over for you. “Let me,” he pants, watching your reaction as your head falls back against the pillows with another moan. He groans at the sight and leans in, placing soft, adoring kisses to the column of your throat, to the edge of your jaw, to the curve of your cheek… All the while rubbing those perfect circles on your clit.

Your pussy is starting to clench around him. “Oh my god,” you whine, throwing your head back, and the performance isn’t even for the cameras anymore, it’s for him, to let him know how good he’s making you feel. Every thrust puts him right at your g-spot, and his fingers have the perfect pressure on your clit, a catastrophic combination of sensations that’s quickly sending you towards the edge. “Please don’t stop.”

He keeps kissing towards the corner of your mouth. “Cum for me,” he says, and then he presses his lips to yours, claiming your tongue with his as he fucks you through your orgasm. You moan and whine into the kiss, your cunt clenching and spasming around his cock, and he groans against your mouth at the feeling of you sucking him even further inside you.

Fuck, he’s not gonna last like this.

So he rolls you over onto your tummy again, even though your legs are still weak and shaky from your climax, and presses you down into the mattress with gentle hands. He spreads your legs for you, angling your hips right where he wants you, and then he leans over your body, palms planted firmly on either side of your shoulders to hold his weight above you before he starts rocking back into your perfect fucking pussy.

His shoulders are heaving with the effort to hold back, to not cum after two seconds like this, but his eyes are trained on how your ass conforms to the shape of his hips with every thrust, and the curve of your back looks like the perfect bullseye for his cum–

He groans, pulling out before he can accidentally empty himself inside you. Then he strokes himself, his hand pumping over the wet, sensitive head of his cock as he stares at your fluttering pussy, wishing he could’ve cum there– maybe next time– With a choking sound and breathless moans, he watches pearly ropes of his seed shoot out over the smooth skin of your back.

When he catches his breath, he can’t help but pull up short. Wait, next time??

~

Once you’re showered and dressed in street clothes again, walking out of the studio with your bag over your shoulder, you hear a familiar voice behind you. “Hey! One sec.”

You turn, a smile already on your face as you recognize Satoru’s voice. His hair is still wet from his shower, too, hanging damp in front of his shining eyes. “Hey,” you respond, smiling as he walks over. “Great job today. You’ve got a great career ahead of you, you know.”

“I know,” he says, not arrogantly, just as a fact. But he doesn’t want to talk about that now. He looks a little nervous as he shifts from one foot to the other. “I just wanted to say thanks for…choosing me to work with you today. I had a lot of fun.”

Your smile spreads a little wider. “Me, too,” you tell him, and then you turn your back, because you’re already late for dinner with your friends. “See you around!”

“Wait!” he calls again, and you stop, surprised. You turn and blink up at him.

“Uh, this might sound dumb…but can I get your number?”

thanks for reading! -luna xx link to ao3 | next: suguru & you

[xspeter]

episode one: the vanishing of will byers

˚✧˚. summary: your brother goes missing, Tommy H gets what he deserves, and Mike Wheeler drags you into something downright strange

wc: 6.1k

m.list

notes: hi!!! this is the first chapter of my own rewrite :). i’ve always loved reading stories where you actually go on the adventures with the characters, so i figured why not do it myself? as i’m sure all of you know, im not the best at keeping up with my own stories… so please bare with me!

Your job at Karma Records isn’t very hard, especially since your job just consists of stacking and organizing records and that’s pretty much it. You glance at the clock on the wall, and you sighed as you realized it was already 10:30. The store closed thirty minutes ago, but you stopped getting any customers before the sun had even fully set.

You usually made it a rule not to work late, especially on nights where Will would be home alone. Tonight though was one of the rare nights where Jonathon would be home before you, so you figured there wasn’t any harm in picking up a few extra hours. Especially since you knew your mom could use the extra help. Even though she thought she was good at hiding your financial struggles, you and Jonathon had always known.

“Hey, you ready to lock up?” Your friend, Conner, asks you, his glasses nearly falling off of his nose as he leans against the front counter to look at you. You nod, stretching your arms over your head, your eyes squeeze shut and you let out a relieved moan when your arms slap back down to your thighs. Conner gives you a thumbs up, his blonde hair falling over his eyes a bit as he stands to his full height. Conner is tall, that much is obvious, he has been ever since you were kids and you’d met at the softball field.

“I’ve just gotta finish sweeping up the backroom, but you can go ahead and go.” He says, already beginning to walk away from you.

Your eyebrows furrow as you shrug your jacket on, “Are you sure? I really don’t mind helping you.”

Conner nods, “Yeah, I know, but Will and Jonathon are waiting for you, and you want to get home before your mom right?” He says the last part teasingly, knowing it was technically against your moms rules for you to work late.

You roll your eyes, “Whatever, it’s not like Will is home alone, Jon is there! And, I mean, seriously, I feel bad leaving you here alone, Conny.”

Conner just shakes his head, walking over to you and practically pushing you out the door. “Go home!” He insists. You can’t help but giggle at his antics, finally agreeing.

You sigh as you walk out of the store. You wrap your jacket tighter around yourself as you make the short trek to your car. November in Indiana wasn’t terrible, it wasn’t snowy like it usually was in January, it was more an uncomfortable dry cold. The kind of cold that almost hurt your lungs if you breathed in too hard.

As you walked to your car, you couldn't help but feel almost uncomfortable. You were on one of the main streets in Hawkins, surrounded by stores and streetlights, but you couldn’t help the feeling that you weren’t alone. You glanced behind you, thinking maybe Conner was watching you through the store's glass doors, but he’s not there. Still, the feeling persists.

You swallow, grateful as you finally reach your red ford. The car had been a hand-me down from your dad, the first and only nice thing he’d ever given you. You assumed it was to make up for all of the bullshit he put your family through, but it was going to take more than a car to make you forgive him.

The feeling still lingered even as you pulled out of the parking lot, and you couldn’t help but wonder if something very bad was going to happen.

-

Your twin brother had always been an expert on breakfast foods. You wondered if it was because he’d had to learn considering your lack in cooking skills, or if it was because your mom always burnt pancakes and her eggs were always a bit too watery. Either way, you can’t help the way you inhale the smell of the eggs he’s making, sipping on your coffee at the dining table.

You can hear your mom frantically getting ready, more than likely looking for her keys, which you could see on the table in front of you. “Jonathon, Y/N! Have you seen my keys?” She cries as she suddenly bursts into the kitchen, her eyebrows furrowed.

Jonathon sighs as he continues making breakfast, “Check the couch!” He says, but she just groans. “I already did!” She insists.

You grab the keys off the table, placing your mug down as you walk over to where she’s searching between the cushions. “They’re right here, Mom.”You say, holding them out to her like a prize.

“Oh,” She says relieved, “Thank you, Sweet girl.”

You just hum, going back to where you were sitting at the table. “Are you almost done, Jon?” You ask impatiently, barely able to ignore the grumbling in your stomach. Jonathon just rolls his eyes, “I would be if you’d quit nagging me.” He says, though you know he’s just teasing you.

“Okay, I’m leaving for work,” Your Mom says, leaving a kiss on your head and heading for Jonathon, but she stops in her tracks when she notices the empty chair at the dining table. “Where’s Will?”

You wince, realizing you’d been so focused on your hunger you’d completely forgotten to get him up. “I haven’t gotten him up yet.”

Her head falls back in a groan, “You have to make sure he’s up!” She says, beginning to practically speed walk towards your younger brother's room. You sigh, and you can’t help but feel a bit guilty at making her day harder. “I’ve told you this a thousand times.”

You share a look with Jonathon, when you were Will’s age you were both getting yourselves up, and sometimes you thought maybe it was time Will did the same. “Sorry, mom!” You call down into the hallway, though you doubt she even processes what you said in her hurry.

You grin as you hear the toaster pop, and Jonathon silently places your plate in front of you. You go to immediately dig in, a hum leaving your lips. Your family had always called you a human garbage disposal, because you loved to eat. It was pretty much your love language.

Your mom came back into the room anxiously, a strange look on her face. You’d seen her look worried before, but this felt different. “Will came home last night, right?”

You looked to Jonathon for confirmation, who looked to you. “I- I don’t know, Y/N was home before me last night.” He says. You immediately shook your head, eyes widening a bit. “What? No, I wasn’t. I worked late last night. I thought you got off at eight?”

Jonathon swallowed, “Eric asked me to cover for him last night, and I figured we could use the extra money.”

You can’t help the way your heart drops at the realization that neither you or Jonathon had been home last night. But, surely he had just stayed the night with Mike. This was Hawkins, nothing bad ever happens in Hawkins.

Your mom rubs the bridge of her nose exasperatedly, her eyes squeezing shut. “Guys, we’ve talked about this. You can’t- can’t take shifts when I’m working!”

You swallow, “I’m sorry Mom, I just- it was just a misunderstanding.” Jonathon nods in agreement, leaning against the chair next to you. “He was at the Wheelers all day. I'm sure he just stayed the night.” You feel a bit relieved that Jonathon points this out, because where else would he be?

“I can’t believe you guys,” She mutters, walking towards the phone. “Unbelievable.” You sigh, knowing it was better to let her be angry then try and argue with her, especially when she was right.

You pick at your fingernails anxiously as she calls The Wheelers, that awful feeling from last night creeping back into your stomach, creating an endless pit. It wasn’t uncommon for Will to stay the night at his friends' houses on school nights, but he always made sure it was okay at least a week in advance. He was cautious like that, it was something you loved about him. How careful he was.

That’s why your heart skips a beat when she hangs up the phone, and she doesn’t look any bit relieved.

You and Jonathon spend the entire morning in silence, the both of you entirely too anxious to attempt any kind of small talk. Your mom had called and informed you that Will was not at school or at the arcade or at any of his friends or even at that diner he strangely loves so much. She’d said she was going to file a missing persons report, which still felt entirely impossible.

There was no way Will was actually missing. He was at Mikes all day yesterday! It’s only a ten minute bike from The Wheelers to your house, and Will is cautious. He is careful and he is safe and he knows better than to stray off the route you’d shown him years ago. It seemed entirely impossible that anything could’ve happened in that ten minutes.

You glance to where Jonathon sits next to you on the couch, his expression blank. You swallow, blinking a few times. “He’s fine, right?” You murmur, the first words spoken between the two of you in over an hour. “He just got lost in the woods. We- We’ll find him by tonight, right?” Your eyes begin to fill with an onset of tears, the first of the day.

Jonathon doesn’t say anything, he barely even spares you a glance, and you can’t say you don’t expect it. This is what had happened when your dad had left, he’d gone entirely mute for hours. At the time you’d been annoyed by it, you couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that he wouldn’t say a word, not even when you begged him to talk to you. Will had been so young at the time, he didn’t even really understand what was going on. You’re partially grateful for that, you’d rather he grew up without ever remembering what it was like with your father than to have to experience living with him.

Before you can stop it, tears begin to roll down your cheeks, hot and heavy and all too familiar. You can feel your hands shaking from where they sit on your lap, your vision becoming blurred and lower lip wobbling uncontrollably.

This wasn’t real, there wasn’t any way. There has to be a rational explanation for this. This was Hawkins for crying out loud! What’re the chances that the one awful thing to happen in this town happens to your family? Your happy, loving family?

A warm embrace of your shaking hands pulls you from your thoughts, and that’s when you notice that Jonathon is crying too. He isn’t saying anything, and he still isn’t looking at you, but he’s holding your hand. You tighten your fingers around his, place your head on his shoulder, and weep.

For now, this was enough.

-

“Will!”

Your voice is most definitely hoarse by the third hour of you doing this, screaming for your baby brother to no avail. Will hasn’t responded once, and you’re no closer to finding him than you were three hours ago.

Your mom had returned home with… the report. You couldn’t bring yourself to say what it really was anymore, especially not after seeing it in person. It just made it feel too real, and some part of you still believed this was some awful nightmare.

Deep in the woods, you could hear your mom and brother screaming for him, their voices hoarse just like yours. This part of the woods wasn’t new or unfamiliar to you, in fact you knew it like the back of your hand. Castle Byers stood tall and proud in the tiniest clearing, made of wood and covered by a blue tarp. You remember helping Will and Jonathon build it, or, more like you and Jonathon built it and Will just watched in astonishment.

The castle had been almost like you and your twin's passion project after your Dad had left, like a saving grace amidst the chaos that your lives had become. You both acted like it was to help Will, to distract him, but really it was to distract you.

It had worked too, because by the time it was finished the dad-shaped hole in your chest had healed into a dad-shaped scar.

Now, as you flung the makeshift door open, the Castle felt cold and empty. A reminder of what was gone, and a lingering question of if and when it was coming back.

You sighed, some part of you’d been expecting Will to be in there, hiding from the rest of the world to finish some amazing drawing that he’d gotten the idea for.

“Not there, huh?”

Jonathon’s voice behind you nearly sends you flying out of your skin, and you have to place a hand over your chest to calm your rapidly beating heart. “Jesus, Jon!”

He gives what seems to be the making of a smile, though it doesn’t quite extend past his cheeks. “Sorry.”

You shake your head, “It’s fine. I’m just… a little on edge, I guess.”

He nods, shoving his hands into his pockets. The both of you stare at the structure, neither of you quite knowing what to say as memories flow through the both of you.

“Do you- do you remember the first day we worked on this? When Will insisted on helping me cut the wood?” Jonathon asks you, glancing at you from the corner of his eye.

A small grimace forms on your face as you wrap your arms around yourself, “How could I forget?”

Six years ago, when you’d built this, Will had insisted on helping Jonathon cut the wood. He was only five years old at the time, but Jonathon had thought as long as he was there to help him it’d be okay. Which, by the way, you would’ve told him was a horrible idea if you’d known he was doing it. You’d been helping your mom make sandwiches for the four of you, when an awful, blood-curdling scream punctured through the four walls of your house.

You and your mom had gone running to find Jonathon bent over and Will sobbing over him, axe in hand. “I’m sorry, Jonny! I’m sorry!”

Will had accidently sent the axe right onto Jonathon’s leg, leaving a massive cut right below his knee. It was gaping and oozing blood so red it was nearly black. The whole ordeal had been terrifying at the time, and ten-year-old you had thought for sure Jonathon would die.

He didn’t obviously, he just needed tons of stitches and ended up with a badass scar. Will never did forgive himself for it though. To this day, he still apologizes to Jonathan for it, though he can barely even remember it happening. You think that’s what makes Will so different from all of you, he is so… so compassionate. So empathetic and more in-tune to his emotions then any other eleven year old on the planet. Jonathon had always told him to stop apologizing, that it was more his fault than anything, but Will never stopped.

Jonathon sniffles from beside you, though you can’t tell if it’s because of the cold wind or the tears in his eyes. “God, I’d kill to hear him apologize one more time.”

You sigh shakily, “I would too.” You insist, eyes filling with tears for the upteenth time today. You wonder to yourself if there would be a point where the tears just stop coming, if Will is going to be gone long enough for that to happen.

You silently pray to God that that doesn’t happen.

By the time 3 o’clock rolls around there’s only one person that you desperately need to talk to, that you know can make you feel better, and that’s Conner.

You’d returned home from your search half an hour ago, the whole thing leading you nowhere closer to finding your brother. You knew it wasn’t… pointless. That it would help you find him, but still, you couldn’t help but worry that you were searching for nothing. That he would never show up.

You needed to talk to Conner.

You dialed his number easily, the digits practically muscle memory at this point. Really, he was the only person outside of your family that you called. You weren’t particularly popular at school, and it’s not like you wanted to be! You were happy with it just being you and Conner. You swallowed as the phone rang, letting yourself lean against the wall as you twisted the phone cord around your free hand.

You frowned when you got his answering machine, though you assumed he must’ve gone straight to work from school. You’d already called off for the day, just like Jonathon and your Mom had. Though, your Mom had called off for the next two weeks.

When Conner doesn’t answer, you sigh, placing the phone back on the wall. Jonathon had shut himself in his room as soon as you got home, and your Mom had driven herself straight back to the police station to hound Hopper again. Leaving you, alone.

You never quite took loneliness well. Jonathon thrived when he was by himself, he found comfort in the silence, whereas you did not. You supposed that was the main difference between the two of you. Yes, you were twins, but really you didn’t think you and Jonathon had many traits in common. Or maybe you did, and you just couldn’t see it.

Either way, you needed to get out. You couldn’t sit here by yourself or you were positive you’d go crazy. Without really thinking, you threw on your shoes and your jacket, letting yourself out through the front door. You practically beelined for your car, the rusty red ford already bringing the slightest bit of comforting warmth to your chest.

You’d always been a bit attached to your car. Driving was comforting for you, and helped you clear your head. You’d always preferred road trips to traveling by plane, though your family could hardly ever afford a plane ticket. You’d always been secretly grateful for that fact.

The car shudders a bit as you force it on, the start of “Gypsy” by Fleetwood Mac blasting into the air. You quickly shut it off, the cassette popping out of the dash. You don’t even bother putting it back in its rightful case, instead choosing to throw it onto the passenger seat as you search through your cassettes for the song.

You had a routine when you were upset. Get in your car, play the song, and just drive. You never had a destination, just an agenda.

You let out a relieved sigh when you find it, quickly pushing it into the car and listening as the beginning notes of David Bowie's “Heroes” blast through your speakers. The speakers crackle and pop as you force it louder, but you don’t care. You just put the car in drive and go.

-

An hour later, you’re parked at a gas station, filling up your car before you head back home. You’d driven around the entire city of Hawkins twice, which wasn’t very hard to do considering its size, and you listened to the song the entire time.

Your eyes are puffy from crying all day, and a cigarette that you’d stolen from your mom months ago hangs lit between your lips. When you’d taken it, you figured you’d save it for the right time. No better time than the present, right?

It burns your throat and chest as you suck in its toxic chemicals, your free arm is wrapped around your middle while the other takes the cigarette out of your mouth and holds it between your pointer and middle finger.

You were sure there was some kind of danger in filling up your car while you smoke, but you’d seen countless people do it before and nothing happened to them. You tap your foot impatiently against the pavement, watching as the fuel gauge fills ever so slowly.

After what feels like forever, you hear the gas finally pop, signaling to you that it’s done its job and you can finally leave. As you stick it back into the gas pump, the sound of awfully loud music and screeching tires distracts you.

You look up to see Steve Harrington’s fancy BMW zoom into the parking lot, driving into the parking spot behind you and blowing so much wind past you that your hair practically flies all over the place. Your eyes instantly narrow as you turn around to glare at him. To no one’s surprise, he’s not by himself. His idiotic, minion friends Tommy H and Carol are in the car, the both of them laughing their asses off at whatever it is Steve has said.

Steve Harrington was… a prick, to put it lightly. You weren’t the guy's biggest fan, and you never had been. Now that he was dating Nancy Wheeler though? You most definitely can’t stand him.

You and Nancy had never really been friends, but there’d been a time where you were acquaintances, back when you both dressed up for your brother's DnD games and played along. Though now she’d grown out of it and you still played a long if they asked you nice enough.

You understood it, obviously. You were getting older, and she’d crossed the threshold from playing with her brother to being a normal teenage girl. You, it would seem, still had not, and Steve Harrington’s friends went out of their way to make sure you knew it.

Carol is the first to spot you glaring at them, and the sickening smirk that grows on her face is enough to make your movements quicken. You really weren’t in the mood to deal with them today.

You drop your cigarette, squashing it with your foot. The damn thing hadn’t done anything for you anyway, if anything you were just more stressed.

You quickly hop back into your car, turning the key and sighing as it revs back on. You reach for the door handle to slam it shut, but you’re stopped as a hand grabs the door, preventing you from leaving.

You swallow uncomfortably, sighing as you force yourself to look up. You're met with Tommy H’s smiling face, and you can’t help but feel sick at the smell of alcohol already in his breath. Schools been out for.. what? An hour and a half? How was the bastard already drunk?

“We missed you at school today.” He drawls. You can see Carol smiling through the rear view mirror, a freshly lit cigarette between her fingers. Steve is nowhere to be found, and you assume he’s gonna inside to buy whatever it is they came here for,

“Get off of my car, Tommy.” You say neutrally. If there was one thing you’d learned from being relentlessly bullied by these two, it was to not show any sort of distress.

Tommy leans closer to you, though his hand never leaves your car, instead trailing from the door to the hood, his fingers hanging carelessly over the opening from where your door closes. “Why would I do that when I’m just trying to have a decent conversation with you?”

You can’t help the way your face contorts in disgust. “Look, I’ve had a shit day, Tommy-”

“I know, I heard about your brother.”

Your breath hitches in your throat at that. It would seem there really were no secrets in a small town. Though, you’re shocked he found out about it so quickly. You don’t say anything. What can you say anyway? Oh, yeah, that really sucks! See you at school tomorrow? No.

“Yeah, me and Carol or real sorry about that, by the way.” Naively, you wonder if he’s being legit. Tommy H and Carol were awful, obviously, but sometimes you wondered if he wasn’t really that awful. You peek up at him at your own volition, a curious glint in your eye. “Really?”

Tommy snickers, “Of course! I mean, I'd be real depressed if my twin killed my younger brother too!”

You can hear Carol laughing, that awful, snotty laugh that she does when she wants Tommy to feel validated in whatever crap he’s pulling. “Hey, isn’t that called having an evil twin?” Tommy continues his attempts at getting under your skin, but you’re not focused on him anymore. You see Steve walk out of the gas station with a six pack, a confused look in his eye. You think that’s what pisses you off the most. It’s not Tommy’s comment or Carol's laugh, it’s Steve. It’s the fact that he knows what kind of awful people they are, and yet still chooses to be their friend. It makes you see red.

Before you even realize what you're doing, you quickly snatch the car door handle, and slam it shut on Tommy’s fingers. He howls in pain, his eyes going wide as his other hand reaches for the outside handle. You let him open the door, though he doesn’t even care for anything other than his bright red fingers anymore.

You smirk as he cradles them with his other hand, pained grunts still falling from his mouth. You can hear Carol calling for him, and Steve just stands in the middle of the parking lot stupidly, staring back at you through the rearview mirror. You can tell that he has no clue of what just happened, but he’s curious.

You don’t say anything as you slam the door back shut, not even bothering to put on your seatbelt as you speed out of the parking lot.

-

“Where the hell were you?”

It’s not the greeting you’re expecting when you finally get home, though you guess you should’ve considering you just left without even leaving a note.

You swallow, shutting the door behind you slowly. “I just needed to clear my head.” You defend softly.

Your mom scoffs, shaking her head wildly. The bags under her eyes are already much more prominent, and her hair is fraying in places it usually doesn’t. “So- So you just left? With everything going on, you just left without even telling anyone you were leaving?”

You played with your fingers uncomfortably, you knew she was right, but you hadn’t really been thinking properly at the time. It’s the whole reason you left in the first place! “I’m sorry, Mom.”

She just sighs, falling into the couch next to Jonathon. “You- You can’t do that, okay? Especially not right now. I- I can’t. Will’s already gone, if I lost one of you…” She trails off, eyes welling up with tears. It breaks your heart to see your Mother so vulnerable and open. When your dad left, she put on a strong face for the three of you. Never let you see her cry, never let you see her break, so that she could take care of you. Now, it was your turn to take care of her.

You sit into the couch next to her, so that now you and Jonathon are practically sandwiching her between the cushions. “You’re not going to lose us, Mom.” Jonathon murmurs. You agree with him, wrapping your arms around the brown haired woman. Jonathon does the same, and the three of you sit there for who knows how long, just embracing.

That is until Jonathon interrupts it. “Cops.”

You follow the both of them outside, where Chief Jim Hopper and two of his officer buddies are waiting with Will’s bike.

You’d gotten him that Bike for Christmas, it’d taken you months to save up for it. When you gave it to Will, he was so ecstatic he said he’d protect it with his life, and now a voice in the back of your head told you that he had.

“We found it lying over by Shirley.” He says as places the bike onto the porch and allows himself and the other officers inside your home. “It was just lying there?” You mom says in disbelief, sharing a glance with you.

“Yeah. Cal?” Hopper says, signaling to the other officer to do something that you’re not too sure of.

“Will wouldn’t do that.” You defend, “He- He loved that bike.”

Hopper glances at you, continuing his march through the halls “I’m sure he did, Kid.”

“Did it have any blood on it, or-”

“No, no, no, no…Phil?” Hopper murmurs. You can’t stand the way he’s looking through your house like it’s some sort of crime scene, even though you know deep down that it is.

Your childhood home was a crime scene now.

You can tell that Jonathon is growing restless at the amount of one word answers Hopper is giving, because you are too. “If you found the bike out there, then what are you doing here?” He asks, only slightly impatient.

“Well, he had a key to the house, right?” Hopper asks, not even sparing any of you a glance. To be honest, it was pissing you off.

“Yeah.” Jonathon answers.

“So…” He mutters, looking through your kitchen like a fruit fly looking for a rotten apple, “Maybe he came home.”

Your mom immediately scoffs, the idea impossible to her. “What- You think I didn’t check my own house?”

Hopper shakes his head, walking over to the wall next to the door. “I’m not saying that. This always been there?” His fingers glaze over a hole in the wall, right where the door handle would smash into it if opened hard enough.

Your mom sighs, rubbing the bridge of her nose impatiently. “I don’t know! I’ve got three kids, two of which are boys. Look at this place.”

Hopper doesn’t say anything, instead swinging the door back and forth as if testing his theory. “You’re not sure?”

The attention is dragged away when Chester starts barking outside, and Hopper goes out there without a word. Your mom follows, though you and Jonathon choose to stay inside.

“I hate that they’re treating this place like a crime scene.” You say softly.

Jonathon swallows, “Well, it is now, isn’t it?”

You're silent for a moment, picking at the skin around your finger nails uncomfortably. “Yeah.” You murmur, “I guess it is.”

-

By the time the sun sets you’ve tried to call Conner a million different times to no avail. His parents aren’t answering either, which worries you even more. With everything that’s going on with Will, you could really use your best friend.

There was going to be a search party for Will tonight, the first of what you desperately hoped wasn’t many. Your family wasn’t going, mostly because Hopper told you not to. He’d said it was best for you to stay home the first few nights, they had enough volunteers and they’d call you as soon as they found anything.

You were practically itching to go though. You wanted to be out there looking for him. What if Hopper scared him and he got even more lost? He wasn’t ever any good around new people.

Your thoughts are interrupted by your mom knocking on your bedroom door, and you let her know it’s okay to come in with a hum. She creaks the door open just wide enough for her to fit through it. “Hey.” She says softly.

You give her a small smile, “Hi.”

She sniffles, leaning against the doorframe. “Me and Jonathon are getting some pictures for the-” She sucks in a breath, the words getting stuck in her throat. “The poster?” You finish for her.

She nods, “The poster.”

Wordlessly, you follow her into the living room where a shoebox full of pictures sits opened on the coffee table, some photos already splayed around the wood. You sit down next to Jonathon on the couch, your eyes scanning over each and every family photo. Lots of them are taken by Jonathon, his love for photography never changing throughout the years.

You snort when you spot a picture of you and Jonathon from before Will was even born. You’re both barely over the age of three, the only thing either of you were wearing being a pampers diaper. You were still practically bald, your hair so thin it looked more like wires than anything else. Jonathon on the other hand, had the thickest head of hair you’d ever seen on a baby!

“You look like the girl in this photo!” You point out with a small laugh, and Jonathon just lets out a puff of air, the closest thing you think you’ll get to a laugh from him.

Your mom sniffles from where she sits beside Jonathon, silently looking through the photos, her eyes subconsciously lingering on the ones of Will.

“I- I know I haven’t been there for the two of you lately.” She says suddenly. Your breath catches in your throat and you shake your head. “No, Mom, c’mon..” You insist.

“I’ve just been working so hard and…” A soft sob escapes her throat, “I just feel bad I don’t even know what’s going on with you guys.” She does her best attempt at a laugh after, though it comes out weak and uncomfortable.

Jonathon seems to be going mute again, and you can’t help the way your eyes build up with tears. She rubs Jonathon’s thigh comfortingly, “What is it, Honey?” She says softly, doing her best to coax a few words out of him.

“Nothing.” He manages, though it comes out coarse, as if he’s holding back tears.

“Come on, tell me.” She insists. Finally, Jonathon breaks. “It’s just… I should’ve been there for him.” He admits, and you feel your heart break in two.

It wasn’t like you hadn’t been having thoughts like that. Thoughts of what if. What if you hadn’t taken that later shift? What if you had double checked with Jonathon? Would Will be home safe, like he was supposed to?

“Jonathon, don’t do that to yourself.” You say softly, tears falling from your own eyes.

“This was not your fault,” Your mom reassures, her other hand coming to rest on your cheek. “Either of you, okay? It wasn't your faults.”

She sucks in a shaky breath, “Will is… is close, I can feel it, in my heart.” She says, her voice wavering slightly though you know she means what she says. It comforts you slightly, knowing that your mom believed so wholly.

She smiles, picking one of the pictures of Will scattered on the coffee place. It’s his sixth grade school photo. He’s smiling, and he’s wearing the outfit you and Jonathon helped him pick out because he insisted on looking just perfect.

“This is the one, right?” She says, and you and Jonathon both nod. “Yeah, it’s his favorite picture.” You say, your voice cracking slightly,

Your mom laughs, staring fondly at the photo, until the phone rings. She drops it back in the coffee table and runs over to it. Your heart practically stops beating, hoping, but also slightly dreading, to hear some news about Will.

“H-Hello?” She says into the phone, her eyebrows creasing in confusion. “Hello? L-Lonnie?” You and Jonathan both share a glance, “Dad?”

You get up from your spot on the couch, walking over to your mom in the hopes if being able to hear whoever’s on the phone. “Hopper? Who is this?”

Suddenly, her breath catches in her throat as she looks at you. “Will?”

Jonathon practically shoots up from the couch, standing next to you. “It’s- It’s will?” You said, a weight coming off of your shoulders. He was alive.

Suddenly, her eyes go wide, no longer with relief, but instead fear. “Who- Who is this? What have you done to my boy?”

“Mom, what’s going on? Who’s on the phone?” You question, the weight suddenly crashing back down, making it nearly impossible for you to breathe. “Give me back my son- oh!” The phone drops from her hand, it clearly having gotten overheated or- or something.

Jonathon dives for it, “Hello? Who is this?”

You immediately go for your Mom, “What did he say?” You insist, but she’s already begun to sob. “He just breathed. He just breathed!” Your breath catches in your throat. So, he hadn’t said anything? Not a clue about where he was? Nothing?

You didn’t have time to dwell on it now as you pulled your mom into an embrace, the both of you crying together.

By the time everyone calms down and your mom finally gets herself to bed it’s pouring and you’re exhausted. You flop onto your bed, though it feels wrong to try and sleep knowing Will isn't right across the hall like he usually is.

You toss and turn for at least half an hour, so you’re beyond grateful at the sound of the landline in your room ringing. You assume it’s Conner finally replying to the hundreds of messages you left him, but you’re shocked when you hear the other voice on the line.

“Y/N? Are you there?”

“Mike?”

You assume he’s calling because he’s scared, just like all of you are. “Mike, is everything all right?”

The phone is silent, though you think you can hear Dustin and Lucas arguing in the background. You can hear Mike take a shaky breath, before he simply says, “We need your help.”

[purplecatghostposts]

Recently rewatched Risk and Strike Back and it’s missing Flairmidable hours. He’s there for half an episode but he stole the show for me. I genuinely think up until things go down with Strike Back, he’s having a good time. Not just because he’s pretending to be Adrien or because he has a good plan in mind to get what he wants but he looks so amazed when he first sees a kwami like Barkk. He’s fascinated by the fact that Ladybug can travel through time. Being a temporary superhero is fun, up until it comes to fighting Strike Back. You can see the moment his mood drops. “Teleport them where?” He knows the answer won’t be one he likes. He knows that he can’t do anything to help his fellow Sentis but he still quietly tells them he’s sorry. He might’ve promised himself it would never happen again. No one would ever suffer like Strike Back did. He would make sure of it. His last act as Flairmidable.

(But then there’s Red Moon and that promise is broken.)

[ninadove]

The chaotic release schedule actually becomes much more entertaining if you use it to infer imaginary production priorities. Like this:

“OK we can’t release the episodes in order, so let’s make sure we get the most important messages across ASAP. First of all, we need the kids to understand that the core four are all dating each other, but that Alya and Marinette are dating each other extra hard. Make sure the next episode also begins on an Alyanette scene, in case that wasn’t clear enough.

That’s good. Great, even. BUT WE CAN DO BETTER!!!!! I also need the kids to understand that Marinette and Adrien are also dating Sublime. No, Sublime is not dating Alya and Nino, you idiot, at least not until season 12! Make sure to lay it on thick with the stalking and the overuse of the verb “like” and the S2-S3 parallels. In fact!!! Let’s send Adrisubliminette on an ice cream date in the end card. You know? Like they used to do with Kagami, before they fumbled her!

Speaking of fumbling Kagami — I cannot emphasise enough how crucial it is to show Adrinette fumbled her. Yeah. Yeah it should be apparent in every episode, even those she’s not present for. IN FACT let’s demand an animation budget specifically dedicated to showing off how much they fumbled Kagami. I want her as faaaaar as possible from Adrinette in the opening, looking at them defiantly, calling back to the subtle falling out from the London special. I want her to hold onto Felix’s arm, supporting herself as much as she supports him, and I want the viewer to see how softly he smiles at her when zooming in. Oh you thought I was done with the opening??? THINK AGAIN YOU BUFFOON. I want Ryuko in a defensive stance as she protects Argos, setting the two of them apart from the rest of the team. Actually let’s reuse the exact same fucking shot not even five seconds later. Yes. YESSS. NOW WE’RE TALKING. Are they making you insane? They’re making me insane. Let’s make Tumblr user @ninadove, specifically, even more insane. GIVE RYUKO A TEN SECOND CAMEO IN EPISODE 2 AND MAKE SURE TO SHOW HOW MUCH OF A GOOFBALL SHE’S BECOME NOW THAT SHE’S FINALLY HAPPY.

Anyway back to the poly agenda. Do we still have budget for the poly agenda? How much? Heh, good enough. Now let’s brainstorm, team: how do we get Luka in there?”

[eli-alys]

(my main blog is @elialys, currently using this sideblog to post my newsreader feels/gifs because tumblr shadowbanned me on sunday for sending s3 to people 💀 anyway, this post was written a few days ago)

~~~~

I took notes on my immediate feelings after watching each episode of season 3 of The Newsreader, it’s helped with the “AAAAAAH” emotions that binging such an intense show cause, plus I figured quite a few of you might share my feels. It’s mostly me screaming, and it’s a tad disjointed as you can imagine, but blame the show for breaking my brain.

SPOILERS UNDER THE READ MORE!!

3.01 Night of Nights

I’ve honestly watched the first two seasons so many times in the past year that I forgot all about that HEAVY DREAD FEELING NEW EPISODES OF THIS SHOW MAKE ME FEEL. And I’m guessing it’s not going to get any better as the season progresses 😭 They truly are so good at creating the scenes with high energy, feeling so IMMEDIATE, and Helen’s anxiety never fails to trigger mine, so 🥲

Speaking of Helen, I’m going to need to rewatch the season a second time fairly fast because as always whenever I watch something new with Anna, I am too busy thinking “SHE IS SO BEAUTIFUL” in a loop to pay attention to most of what she’s saying. But she is, I absolutely LOVE the new look in season 3, the shorter hair is perfect, her logie look was gorgeous, she looked so beautiful, and then she looked even better at the end when she was all casual at her house, in jeans and with barely any make up ❤️ ANYWAY, that’s my initial, mandatory gushing about the “Anna is gorgeous” aspect of things.

This episode was a whirlwind honestly, so many things to take in already, many many emotions were felt. I love how they are setting up the pieces for the rest of the season, the way they always do. I already want to slap Rob and protect Noelene at all costs from all those men. Lindsay needs to DIE ALREADY, I swear to god if he’s not run over by a bus by the end of this show 😡

Okay let me gush over Helen a bit more substantially. I love how FAST she was hit in the face by the reality of being back in Australia, with all the network bullshit. This poor woman has so much fucking trauma associated with this industry and the way they treated her, even at the height of her career, being offered this prime time show, she still doubts herself and the legitimacy of it. The way her anxiety took over, her fighting it, I know these are just the first cracks of the season 😭 PLEASE let our girl get a proper diagnosis and proper help by the end of this I BEG YOU SHOW. Needless to say I still absolutely adore the way Anna portrays her, always saying so much in all those moments she has zero lines of dialogue.

Dale. Dale Dale Dale. DALE IS DEAD INSIDE. Him saying he felt NOTHING standing there receiving his award? Him clearly being dead inside while having a man stripping in front of him, at his request? MY SWEET WET NOODLE, WHERE IS YOUR SOUL? I love the fact that I *know* they’re setting him up to being BROKEN this season, and I cannot wait. BREAK HIM. LET HIM FEEL THINGS AGAIN. I AM READY TO HURT WITH HIM.

Serious talk though, THE HELEN x DALE CONTENT IN THIS EPISODE???? 😭😭😭😭 Minute one in the restaurant, you can tell the love is still there. Minute two you can also tell they’re still shit at communicating so hahaha joke is on us as much as on them. Helen saying he was her only non-disaster yet they were pretty disastrous and him just…“I don’t think we were” DALE MY MAN YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME.

Don’t get me started on Helen losing her shit at the logies realizing she was going to “betray” Dale. Her trying NOT TO SAY IT. DALE’S SPEECH 30 SECONDS LATER THANKING HELEN FOR SEEING THE NEWSREADER IN HIM????? 😭😭😭

You know last year I loved talking about how Noelene and Rob’s relationship acted as a foil to Helen and Dale’s (as did Gerry and Carla’s), with them actually talking things through when Helen and Dale did not. This episode was another beautiful example of this, with the focus being put on Noelene being (RIGHTFULLY) upset that Rob just threw the “oh, and my wife” line in his speech when she fucking produced that show, and HERE IS DALE JENNINGS, on stage, thanking Helen for seeing him and making this possible for him, WHEN THEY ARE BROKEN UP AND ESTRANGED.

ALSO, talking of parallels, the hotel scene KILLED ME. I believe it was a VERY DELIBERATED CHOICE by Emma to frame Dale and that man the way she did, because that’s basically how Dale and Helen were framed in that hotel scene at the end of 2x01.

And Helen hoping so hard that they can remain “friends” despite the competition, when everything on Dale’s face tells you “naaaaah not gonna happen” but he smiles his empty smile and says “yeaaah sure” 😭 HE’S GONNA TAPE ALL OF HER SHOWS THOUGH BECAUSE HE’S DALE.

Anyway so much more to say, but I still want to watch another episode before attempting sleep, I need to find myself a paper bag to breathe in.

(just realized I didn’t mention the Dale and Kay thing once, but I think that says a lot in itself, no offence to Kay but NO THANK YOU)

(((Also, I hate the wig. I hate it so much)))

3.02 A New Era

(This ended up being me live commenting this episode because I kept getting so anxious/upset that I had to take breaks)

“Human conversations are not this boy’s strong suit” Lindsay, I hate you, but this does describe Dale a little too well.

Evelyn butting in and listening in to her daughter’s phone conversation with Dale is such an Evelyn thing to do. Also, look, I am aware that Kay and Dale are unsubstantial at this stage of the show and they’re only doing this to get us riled up, but guess what? IT IS WORKING.

Currently taking a pause from the episode because Lindsay is being a fucking ass and trying to feed Helen’s team fake news for her to read on her first show is STRESSING ME OUT I CANNOT DO THIS.

Ugh, the “HELEN’S MENTAL HEALTH” MUSICAL THEME KICKING OFF IN THE BACKGROUND FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS SEASON I AM NOT READY.

Aaaand indeed, I was not ready, crying actual tears at Helen losing her shit at work in front of everyone, this is going to be a long season I AM FINE 😭

GUYS EVERYONE IS SCREAMING IN THIS EPISODE WHAT THE HELL I LOVE IT BUT I CAN’T TAKE IT

God Vincent’s comment about how she’s the first woman on a prime time show and we “can’t even see her tits” I want to kill all those men I SWEAR TO GOD

I am dying inside at the PARALLELS of Helen and Dale watching a tape of Helen’s first show, which was shit, while Dale kicked ass, like THIS IS HOW THE SHOW STARTED BUT WITH THEIR PLACES SWITCHED.

I keep having to pause this episode, I’m so upset at Helen being told off by her new boss for having mental health issues that interfere with her work, I clearly did not buy enough tissues for this season. I mean, it HAS to be addressed, she does have to seek PROPER help, but the way it’s just…thrown at her, always, it’s too real and heartbreaking. THE PATRONIZING!!!

Not gonna lie, kinda loving the fact that Dale is learning to assert himself with his man friend he pays for sex and that he’s learning to use those skills with Lindsay. Somehow it’s unsettling and awkward and very Dale and I’m thriving.

I wanted to talk a little about Noelene and baby Hana (and Rob lol) because CONGRATS NOELENE, but right now I’m too busy ugly crying over that scene of Helen admitting to the psychiatrist that she’s been struggling her whole life. Oh this punched me in the GUTS.

That’s my cue to take a break and get some sleep, dear lord, my own mental health is not equipped for this.

~~

Alright, back at at it after less than 5h of sleep, I don’t foresee myself crying less. I’ve been thinking about the first couple episodes over and over, and I’ve realized the start of this season feels skewed. And a big part of it is because of Dale.

In those first two episodes, Helen is more alive than ever, full of emotions that overwhelm her, and you FEEL for her. Usually, I feel that for Dale, too, with his big wet eyes and the constant panic in 2/3 of the scenes he’s in. But so far this season? I feel nothing, except concern for him. He’s just empty, he’s pretending with everyone, at work, with Kay, with Helen. He’s struggling to be in control in any way he can, paying for what I can’t really describe as intimacy, since he’s using those moments to try asserting any kind of control.

Plus, he’s got a terrible wig, but I’m aware that’s mostly me overfixating on it.

I also know something’s gotta give. I’m suspecting episode 3 will do that, one way or another.

It's 6am, let’s gooooo

3.03 Behind the Front Line

HOLY HELL, this episode came for me!!! My favorite one of the season so far, shockingly I know haha, with it containing Helen’s long awaited diagnosis and that famous improv scene at her house.

Let me say it again: HOLY HELL 😭😭😭

I seriously love the way they handled Helen learning what her diagnosis is, from her figuring it out on her own by doing research, to her losing her shit as a result of her psychiatrist confirming it. I’ve figured it was borderline personality disorder a long time ago when I first watched the show and did research before starting to write fanfic about her, because I wanted to understand her better and be mindful in the way I wrote her, and like her doctor said, she ticked so many of those boxes.

Don’t get me started on how Dale reassures her with “All I see is you” to counter her saying he must have seen it, must have known. He’s not brushing off or denying the messiest parts of her, he’s acknowledging them, basically saying it’s always been part of her, and he’s loved her as she was and as she is. Beautiful, beautiful scene, Anna’s acting was insane, absolutely insane, cannot wait to rewatch it in a loop until every frame is carved in my neurodivergent brain.

I am so worried for my boy Dale though, he’s so fucking dead inside. Still practicing sounding normal in front of mirrors, like the beautiful neurospicy human that he is. Helen being surprised that he’s throwing himself a birthday party and him being literally “it’s a social event, it’s a normal thing to do” DALE MY LOVE YOU ARE ALLOWED NOT TO FIT IN.

I do not trust whatever is going on between him and Kay. I don’t understand how anyone can fall for Dale *right now*. Like I get why both Helen and Tim were swooning over Dale in s1 because he was so squishy and nerdy and sweet and full of tears, but THIS Dale Kay is interacting with? HE’S A SHELL OF A HUMAN BEING. He’s just as much of a lifeless husk on the desk as he is away from it and IT HURTS MY SOUL. So yeah, Kay saying “I love the way you make me feel” I’m just??? Also, the fact that she keeps comparing him to her dad, haha. Anyway, I don’t sense this ‘relationship’ going anywhere healthy given the state of things.

Also, LINDSAY???? He didn’t actually give Noelene her maternity leave, at all???? Being a fucking racist???? Crashing the party and having a temper tantrum???? I am not surprised by any of this but god this man deserves a heart attack or a stroke for fuck’s sake.

Noelene is absolutely fabulous, LOVE the way she just said fuck it and gave the story to Helen, then JOINED Helen, like YES QUEEEEEEENS.

I have no idea what to expect for the second half of the season, although I suspect since the first half was more about Helen’s mental health and job, the second half will focus more on Dale’s mental health and job, as in, I’m waiting for him to break. Guessing the 6th and final episode titled “The Fall” might feature a bit of that. Our boy is drinking a lot. Like, A LOT.

3.04 One Team, All Brothers

Ugh. UGH.

I always loved how this show handles complex topics, and this episode was as strong as ever. I’m GLAD Rob’s attitude toward racism was brought to light, Noelene absolutely killed it. Rob’s scene with Deano…man 😭

Equally loved Helen’s journey through this episode, how she’s trying to help but as always she’s confronted to people around her not wanting to stir the pot, and how in the end, she is just another “white woman” because, well, she is. LYNUS THOUGH, so so glad to have more of him, he’s so wonderful ❤️

I am so so in love with the way they show Helen working so hard on not losing it at work, using strategies and calling her therapist like, I can’t remember seeing this side of mental health portrayed on tv like this before, it is so validating. And watching it WORK, watching how it allows her to ground herself. And sure it might not always work, but at least she’s being given the tools to handle those overwhelming emotions, and I’m so proud of her.

Talking of in love, I did not see the “I’m in love with you” from Bill thing coming, but I am here for the drama. I don’t even blame this man, he spent months with her overseas where she was clearly thriving, he got to see the best side of her, and yeah, we’ve all been there, Bill. Curious to see how that’s going to impact the next two episodes because talk about awkward, he’s executive producer 💀

NERVOUS about the Kay and Dale thing. They make me uncomfortable, as stated in my previous comments for episode 3, this is not love, this is them using each other for very different reasons. Nervous about Dale’s escort not being as discreet in the future as Dale hopes he’ll be. Also, EVELYN?? I get that she’s “looking out for her daughter” but what a fucking bitch, as Helen would say.

Also I just gotta say, that bit at the start, with Helen and Dale watching those parodies of themselves :’)) How Helen is just finding it all so hilarious, including the parody of her (which is so funny honestly), while Dale is just…well, dead inside, BECAUSE THAT IS JUST DALE’S DEFAULT MODE THIS SEASON.

God I do hope we start seeing him crack soon, I am so desperate for some EMOTIONS FROM HIM. And I gotta say, this show as always is great at surprising me. 4 episodes out of 6, and so far, none of the ‘ugly competition’ between Helen and Dale I was expecting/fearing from the promo and season synopsis. Yes their shows are against one another, timewise, and yes, there’s competition between networks, but it’s like, in the background, and it’s not seemed to have impacted whatever version of ‘friendship’ they both have at the moment. I put ‘friendship’ in quotes because well, see my “DALE IS DEAD INSIDE” comments. This poor man is just existing right now.

I’m wondering if Helen is so focused on her show and working on herself (as she should ❤️) and just happy that Dale is still part of her life in some capacity, that she’s not yet gone “hey honey, you look and sound a little like a fucking zombie, let’s talk about this”. I’m also thinking, between their schedules and him dating Kay, they don’t actually see each other that often, and never for long. I’m just…I want someone to ACKNOWLEDGE that Dale is not doing well, and I would 1000% appreciate it most if it was Helen 😭

3.05 On the Brink

There is something incredibly sad in the fact that Helen’s comments on air, about how shame and isolation are what makes having mental health issues so unbearable, are being said on a show that takes place in 1989, yet are still extremely relevant to this day, 35 years later. There has been great progress, but not enough. It’s 2025 and struggling with anxiety or depression, or anything of the sort, is STILL so misunderstood by most people, still hush hush.

That being said, I am so incredibly moved, so so grateful, that the show has chosen to bring so much light on mental health through Helen. I’m going to need to process everything in this episode but that was beautifully cathartic, can’t quite talk about it properly yet.

Also, absolutely heartbroken about Dale completely spiraling, between the drinking and the drugs, while being fucking blackmailed. The final episode clearly is called “The Fall” for a very good reason 😭 A little terrified to watch it, as it will be THE END, so I’m going to make myself some lunch instead. But given how beautifully they’ve handled Helen’s story in those last 5 episodes, I absolutely trust that they put just as much care in Dale’s breaking point. I also trust the fact that in the past, whenever one of them broke, the other was there to catch them. And I cannot wait for that.

One last thing about this episode, I feel like Helen turning down Bill is another proof of the progress she’s made. She has a fear of abandonment, she latches on to people who are showing her the slightest bit of love, of attention, even when it’s the toxic kind, and she’s not been shy about seeking pleasure. And here you have this man who’s telling her he loves her, who’s her boss (another pattern in her previous lifestyle), and she says no.

I am so proud of her 😭

3.06 The Fall

This was so fucking hard to watch. The first part of it with Dale’s breakdown, absolutely heartbreaking, I was literally clutching at my face and hiding my eyes at times. The self-loathing was difficult to WATCH, I just…Sam Reid, what the fuck, his performance. It WAS like watching a trainwreck in real time. The part with him hitting himself, and listening to those awful audience comments over and over and over again 😭 This man was in so much pain, and SO touch-starved, needing real connection but not finding it 😭

It did bother me that they made the plot decision to just....let Dale sit on that desk, CLEARLY DRUNK and looking the way he did, when a few episodes ago, Helen was sent home straight away when she tried doing her show while drunk/high. If they couldn’t keep him off the desk at least don’t go live and put the “technical issues” screen on, and DON’T LEAVE HIM ON AIR FOR SO LONG.

God Lindsay really is a fucking villain, him looming over Dale, just…the psychological abuse was so so hard to watch.

He didn’t just deserve to be sacked, HE DESERVED TO BE RUN OVER BY A BUS. That being said I’m extremely glad the show ended with him gone, and Dennis stepping in.

Ugh I absolutely love Noelene telling Helen exactly what she thinks. Not only did she stand up for herself, she also gave Helen the last push she needed to call the shots for HER show.

The image of her being the lone woman at that table full of men once again berating her, was so damn powerful, ESPECIALLY the way she just let them have their trantrum, only to calmly tell them “No” and step away like, QUEEN.

Oh and Helen's "I'm not gonna be punished because I didn't want to fuck you" to Bill?

The Helen x Dale content was so scarce this season, but I don’t actually mind it? Like, the shipper in me mourns the fact that we didn’t get more and will never get more, but I’m a fic writer, I’ll make more 😏 I am 150% happy with the fact that they focused so much more on Helen’s journey through taking care of her mental health, and Dale stepping away from this toxic, TOXIC environment.

Also all the call backs to season 1 guys, I cannot 😭 Her ‘rescuing’ him, the dialogue being almost exactly the same from the pilot 😭😭😭 Not gonna lie the fact that it’s basically how I started my own “helen x dale post s2 fix it fic” over a year ago gives me warm feelings. Also, I am terrible person for thinking this but when Dale told his mum that what was in the paper was true (about him being with men) and he said “I love you, I hope you can still love me” and she said NOTHING? I thought “well I’m not so sorry I killed you off in my fic now” because?!!! 🙃 I’m sure she’ll come around and everything, she STAYED with him, but it's still a gut punch compared to Helen’s “I love you just the way you are” in season 1 after he told her the truth.

Honestly, I didn’t know what kind of ending I wanted for these two as a pair, except that this is what I was hoping for, since I figured there wouldn’t me any romantic ending. Them CLEARLY in each other’s lives, clearly better when they have each other, with me free to imagine that when Dale comes home from Germany, he smooches the hell out of Helen and they get acquainted with her couch again :’))

(you know she's thinking about that couch)

(can we blame her? LOOK AT HIM)

I’m going to need to rewatch this season at least once or twice in the next week to really take it all in. I am so sad that it’s over, overwhelmed with so many emotions after taking it all in so fast, but also very content. I feel they wrapped everyone’s storyline beautifully, and left us on a GOOD, positive note, full of hope.

And again, so beyond grateful for how truly Helen focused this last season was.

God that was so beautiful.

[timideartilleur]

"It's just another day at the Committee of Public Safety (21th Century AU)"

Episode 1 - "Fixed hardware, broken heart"

What follows is a tiny script I wrote many months ago, set in a modern AU. The main characters, as you might have already guessed from the title, are the CSP members. Thanks to @mathildeaquisexta for giving me the courage to post it, as I wasn't convinced at all... Hope you enjoy!

Billaud: [frowns] Guys… This stupid machine has broken again [hits the monitor of his PC].

Carnot: If you keep doing that of course it will break. What happened?

Billaud: It’s already broken!! [whines] I told you!...Internet Explorer stopped working so I deleted “explorer.exe” from the task manager to then open it again…

Carnot: You did what!?

Billaud: [angry] I did what you told me to do in these cases…!

Carnot: I never sa-

Hérault: Aaaaaah… You and your cryptic, diabolic machines! I find myself so good with pen and paper.

Carnot: Cryptic…? Come on, even Lindet managed to learn how to send emails…

Collot: [laughs immoderately] Have you heard, Lindet?

Lindet: [with his head stuck on his paperwork] No, I haven’t. Usually when Carnot speaks, all my ears can grasp is an indistinct cacophony.

Carnot: [indistinct noises of annoyance].

Billaud: [sobs] I’ve lost all of my work now!!

Saint-Just: Haven’t you done a backup of your files?

Billaud: Oh… [puzzled] What do you mean with “backup?

Carnot: Supreme Being… [rolls his eyes, gives a quick look at Billaud’s monitor]. It’s not broken, just stuck.

Collot: [with impatience] And what are you waiting for!? Fix it, would you? We’re having a call with some representatives in half an hour.

Carnot: [narrows his eyes, in a passive aggressive tone] You know what? I won’t. I’m tired of constantly fixing your devices and, most importantly, not being listened to!

Robespierre: Nobody ever asked you anything.

Saint-Just: Can’t Prieur do it? He’s quite good with technology.

Robespierre: Isn’t he on mission?

Saint-Just: [sighs] Not that Prieur, the other one there [points at Prieur de la Côte-d'Or on the opposite side of the room].

Robespierre: Aaaah! [smirks] You mean Pierre-Louis!

[Saint-Just facepalms.]

Collot: Geez Robespierre, how can you still confuse them?

Saint-Just: Anyway… Prieur, can you please unstuck Billaud’s pc? Since Monsieur le Chevalier de Saint-Louis here refuses to do it?

Carnot: [angry, raises his voice] How did you call me!?

C.A. Prieur: [smiles embarrassed] B-but, but… No I… I can’t. [Blushes] I’m not as good as Carnot with these things… I don’t think I…

Billaud: [rushes towards Prieur, folds his hands in front of him] Pleeeeeeease, dear Prieur! It’s essential for me to have my files back…!... And for Collot too: he has to receive an important message…!

Hérault: [confused] Why can’t Collot use his computer? He has a fancy Apple one. Also his phone can-

Robespierre: Believe me, you don’t want to know what happened neither to Collot’s pc, nor to his phone… And what might happen to yours in case you have the foolish idea to lend them to him.

C.A. Prieur: Fine, fine I’ll see what I can do… [stands up and timidly approaches Billaud's desk]. Oh, it’s actually not that hard: you press the power button for a few seconds forcing the machine to shut down. Just that! Next time you turn it on, it should be alright, see? [does what he has just said, showing Billaud that the pc is working and no data have been lost.]

Billaud: [amazed] Wooooooooooh!!

C.A. Prieur: By the way, it’s correct to delete processes from the task manager when they stop working, but in this case you deleted “explorer.exe” instead of “iexplorer.exe”, which is the process tied to the Internet browser.

Billaud: Thank you!! [squeezes Prieur in his arms.]

Saint-Just: Well done, Prieur. A quick and effective solution combined with a clear explanation of the problem… [glances at Carnot to tease him]... Without wasting words on dramatic tirades.

Carnot: [blushing with rage, tries to pull himself together] Very well. Since my contribution not only isn’t appreciated, but it’s also mocked, there’s no need for me to stay any longer. [Quickly packs his stuff up and leaves the room shutting the door.]

Robespierre: What a drama queen.

Collot: Dude, you acted more or less in the same way just a few days ago, when he told you your poems are stupid.

Lindet: Can someone please go calm him down? He still has to give me back some reports I sent him a while ago.

C.A. Prieur: [sighs and frowns] I fixed Billaud’s pc… Guess it’s my duty to fix Carnot’s wounded heart too… [takes his cane and leaves the room.]

Hérault: How poetic…! But human hearts aren’t like machines!

[Barère abruptly enters the room.]

Barère: [joyful] Bonjour, mes amis!!

Robespierre: [serious, points at his watch] Do you know what time is it?

Barère: [smile proudly, nods] I’m perfectly on time!

Saint-Just: It’s 10 am.

Barère: Oh well… [embarrassed] Today is my day off, so…

Collot: [astonished] Day off!? Since when have we had days off!?

Billaud: The revolution never goes on holiday!

Barère: [a bit disoriented] But, but, but… I asked permission to-

Saint-Just: You asked permission to none and are blatantly lying.

Barère: [frowns, in an emotional tone] But, but… Listen, it’s complicated… There was a little problem with my wife and I have to go ba-

Hérault: [shocked] Married!? You are married!?

[General stupor. Even Lindet raises his head from the paperwork.]

Collot: [nonchalantly] Yes yes… With a vain, spoiled, noble brat.

Saint-Just & Robespierre: What!?

Barère: [blushes] Hey…! [looks down] Don’t call her like that… Besides, how do you know!?

Hérault: Indeed…

Collot: [grins] Fouché told me.

Barère: [annoyed] And how the hell he knows!?

Fouché: I know everything.

[Everyone turns around towards Fouché who’s standing behind them.]

Hérault: And where do you come from!?

Billaud: [sobs] Man’s truly in the walls of this room… 

Fouché: [creepily smiles with widened eyes] I was simply looking for Collot, he doesn’t reply to my calls.

Collot: Ah, right, yes huh. [Takes his coat left on a chair and joins Fouché] Excuse-me, nerds. I have some matters to settle.

To be continued...

[vi-is-badass]

At this point I’ just going to break this down into characters because this is going to be long… well longer. (At this point I feel kinda bad that I can’t seem to be brief. Haha. I have a tendency to overexplain so I don’t get misunderstood.)

I’m going to get the short ones out of the way first.

Jinx

Yeah, we do completely agree on Jinx and her ending. I simply misunderstood you and also definitely overcomplicated it haha. (me overcomplicating something? surely not.)

I think the point you made about Jinx and Vi's contrasting flaws is really neat. I hadn't actually thought about it that way, but you're absolutely right.

I also wanted a hug. That family hug at the end of episode 5 healed something in me haha.

Caitlyn

Huh, I guess I linked the wrong post. Oh well. But I definitely agree with you on Caitlyn. The biggest weakness of her arc is that it was a casualty of the limited time and the shift away from the political themes the first season and the first act presented.

Since I’m a writer I look at it more from a character writing/structural standpoint. So, while I do agree that Caitlyn’s arc ultimately didn’t work, I think I differ from other people in what section of the story ultimately hurt her arc the most. I felt like it was the second act that hurt her arc the most rather than the conclusion.

I think the way they framed her eventual betrayal of Ambessa is the biggest issue for me. Her half of the story in act 2 is centered around her growing distrust of Ambessa rather than confronting her actions against the undercity or showing the self-hatred over her actions she tells Jinx about in act 3.

This makes it so that what she says about her actions "We can't undo our crimes" and "hating you, I hated myself" rings hollow.

I think this hits me as especially odd because Arcane really likes to make characters have to look at the consequences of their actions. Look at Vi and Jayce. They're the two most consistently well intentioned characters in the show and despite those intentions they constantly make mistakes that the narrative makes sure they have to confront the consequences of. 

I’m going to expand on Jayce since I’ve already talked a lot about Vi haha.

Jayce's decision to resort to violence over peace when he raids the shimmer factory leads to the creation of hextech weapons and the death of a child at his hands. It warps his dream and puts them on the precipice of war. He has to face the consequences of how he gave ground on his morals and confront the privilege he has had. He immediately shifts focus to broker peace and destroy hextech weapons.

In season 2 Jayce's creation of hextech-- his dream-- is revealed to have worsened the class divide between piltover and Zaun and will lead to thousands of deaths. Even though his intentions are good he is forced to face the negative ramifications he didn't consider in his desire to bring about his dream through his experiences in the future. As a result he resolves to destroy it and stop Viktor.

It's a very basic “character does things with negative consequences and they are forced to face the consequences and grow” type narrative. This makes the moment they change feel earned and you understand their change. Caitlyn's arc in Act 2 lacks this.

Caitlyn doesn't have to see the police brutality happening at the barricades and checkpoints that we see in the "paint the town blue" montage.

Caitlyn doesn't have to confront the fact that people and children were imprisoned in Stillwater without true cause by enforcers and ambessa's soldiers in episode 4. She only sees Warwick's rampage and comments on the fact that she thought she'd seen the most warped creations of Zaunites, but apparently she was wrong.

She doesn't have to confront the fact that illegal arrests were happening under her watch or that some of those people were beaten for information as well.

She doesn't have to come face to face with the brutality that's happened with her at the helm. The show doesn't have her acknowledge or confront the fact that she has become the oppression she swore to Vi she would oppose in season 1.

Even if Caitlyn opposes these actions (something the show makes sure to remind us of), it doesn't change the fact that she's made the oppression of Zaun worse and actively participated in it through her role as the strike leader and the commander.

I can in some ways be okay with this because Ambessa is implied to be hiding the worst from Caitlyn so she can keep her hold on her (at least I think that's what the show was implying), but with that in mind I wish the show had scenes where we got to see her hesitation and self-hatred.

There was a cut scene of Caitlyn breaking down alone that I feel like the second act sorely needed. This would have been a great way to show that she hates this and she hates herself, but she feels like she has to continue because she's already in too deep.

Or at the very least have Caitlyn look conflicted in the background when she realizes Ambessa plans to attack a peaceful commune. Just some sort of conflict over her actions towards Zaun.

If there had been some variation of these things I would have found her turn more believable (ideally all of these options combined IMO). As it is, it's incredibly abrupt and makes the consequences Caitlyn does face for her actions feel less significant since they don’t feel tied to her actions against Zaun like they should.

So even though she does face consequences— she faces down Ambessa, gets stabbed, loses an eye, lets Jinx go, and gives up her counselor seat to Sevika— it inevitably feels hollow.

Do I think the consequences were handled perfectly? Not at all. I’ve made my feelings clear on the baffling choice to not show Caitlyn give her seat to Sevika, that people forgave her way too easily, and that her self-loathing/conflict is told to us after the fact rather than shown. But all of those issues come back to the second act for me.

Vi

Ooooh. I understand your point better now. I was thinking of it purely in the context of the finale. I do agree with your statement that Vi's powerlessness is integral to her character, but I think I can voice where I differ better now.

I think the biggest way in which we differ is in just how active/passive we think she is. I believe that in the first season, Vi's actions combined with everyone else's and the systemic and societal themes of Arcane are all responsible for bringing about the tragic ending of the season.

I do agree that Vi’s helplessness is an integral part of her character and I do believe there are parts of the series that make a clear statement on it like you said. I believe act 1 (season 1) is clearly making the statement you expressed.

But once again I believe the outcome of act 1 for Vi comes about due to a combination of her flaws and the sad reality that you can’t protect the people you love from these larger systemic issues and the violence that is born from them. (The super fun helplessness, responsibility, and guilt inherent to the experience of the oldest child.)

To expand on that statement I'm going to look at her impulsiveness and anger in the first season because it explains what I mean.

Vi’s flaws are part of what kickstarts the series. It’s her anger at topside over what happened on the bridge that causes her to want to strike out against topside. This causes her to lead the job that ends in the explosion. (We know this action and the consequences of it have major ramifications throughout the series.)

It’s Vi’s anger that leads her to impulsively lash out at Powder. Despite the understandable nature of the action (seriously. No one would react any better than this. In fact most people would likely react worse) and her attempt to almost immediately go back and fix things this is still a formative moment for Jinx, her relationship to Silco, and the series at large.

After she’s released from prison her impulsiveness causes her to charge in headfirst and attack Sevika to find her sister, alerting Silco to her presence which causes him to try and kill her before Jinx and Vi can reunite. This leads to the growing rift between Jinx and Silco and Silco’s hold on the undercity slipping.

Vi’s impulsiveness leads to her teaming up with Jayce for the shimmer raid. This leads to worsening tensions between the two cities and Jayce’s attempt at brokering peace.

And finally, at the tea party, Vi’s impulsiveness causes her to unintentionally push Jinx further away from her by reminding her of their dead family during Jinx’s breakdown. This is fueled by Vi’s desire to help but it’s her failure to stop and realize that what she’s saying is negatively effecting Jinx that leads to Jinx believing Vi can’t understand her. Which is part of what leads to her fully accepting the Jinx moniker and firing that rocket.

Her impulsiveness isn’t the only factor in these actions. Her other flaw of failing to accept change is also a massive factor, especially at the tea party, (and one I’ve already expanded on in other posts) but I still think this illustrates my point that many of Vi’s actions drive the story in some way. They are driven by her own motives rather than being reactions to what’s happening around her. Vi isn’t passive in season 1. 

Vi’s actions in season 1 clearly weren’t the only factor that led to this tragic outcome. Your points about Vi's agency being taken from her are valid and completely true. The flaws of all the characters involved came to a head along with the systemic strife. They go hand in hand. 

So it's not that I don't think Vi's powerlessness is a core piece of her character (It definitely is and I think you're right about the impact is has on her!) it's more that I don't see her as passive and is tragically part of the thing that propels the tragedy of the first season of arcane.

It's just that her good heart isn't allowed to make the impact she wishes so badly she could due to a combination of her own flaws, the flaws and actions of the characters around her, and the oppressive societal structure of arcane. It all comes together.

This isn't really a counter. Everything above is more of an expansion of my own thoughts on Vi's character, her flaws, and the kind of fascinating mix of agency and passivity she has throughout the season. Because I do agree with your core argument! I think you're right on the money in a lot of ways. I just view it a bit differently I guess.

I think the main reason I chafed against this idea is when I thought you were purely looking at it as a statement on the finale and this is primarily because Arcane drops the class themes in s2 act 2. So I instead mainly view her lack of impact on the finale as a failure of character writing.

I apologize for the long explanation and my first ramble. I didn't fully understand what you were saying the first time and was thinking of it purely in the context of the finale. Sorry about that. Plus, I hadn't really taken a step back and considered how her powerlessness was a statement from the show on the systemic issues present and was instead only looking at it from a single character perspective. I genuinely appreciate the new perspective!

I will admit that, while I still stand by my thoughts that she should have been integral to the final battle, I also acknowledge I can’t talk about Vi’s character objectively.

I relate a lot to Vi for many reasons I won’t get into here. It was this connection and The lack of impact she had on the final battle felt like it added insult to injury. I felt like her character arc was fumbled and then she didn’t even have a part to play in the conclusion to the series. It felt like she was an afterthought. 

So while I already explained why I don’t think the lack of impact worked I also acknowledge that I don’t think I can address your point the way I would like to because of my personal bias and I can’t tell right now if my personal feelings are the root of my pushback or if it truly doesn’t work for a conclusion to her character.

I actually think this video is really interesting. Not because I fully agree with it (there are a lot of points in the video I don't agree with and a lot that I do), but because I appreciate its intent.

I also fall in the same boat where I really liked the second season, but I didn't love it like I did the first and I appreciate that this is a video that wants to start a conversation. He wants to talk about why things didn't necessarily work for him, why it didn't seem to have the same impact as the first, and about how he wants to hear why those things might have worked for others.

So much discourse about this season has framed it as either the best thing ever, above any criticism, or the worst thing ever with no redeeming qualities and it's made it very frustrating and demoralizing to try and talk about it online.

I want to talk about how I loved aspects of this show and that I was also let down by certain aspects of the show as well, but anytime I try and talk about criticism it's rarely met with a genuine conversation.

I would love to hear how people interpreted things differently from me, why they felt that way, how it connected with them, because I feel like that's the purpose of stories. It's never going to resonate with anyone the same way and there may have been things I missed.

I also know I haven't always worded what I've wanted to say and my criticisms the way I want to get across what I mean. It has never been my intent to sound like I wasn't open to discussion, different interpretations, or counterpoints. I would like to actually talk more about this season and hear other people's thoughts as well.

[mcintyresmartinis]

Happy Trapper Tuesday!

I give you him washing his socks in his open robe, and his awful dad joke.

S2E10, “The Sniper”

[coern-art-very-cool-and-nice]

distant blue sky

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Josh is so wrong about tommy and the pre glee world of it all - man was engaged to Abby in roughly 2015-17/18 Glee finished in 2015. So Tommy came out in the post glee world.

Now he might’ve been aware he was gay and using Abby as a beard during the glee era, and yes he was in the military during don’t ask don’t tell and working under Gerrard after that, but let’s not pretend for any minutes that he was fighting in the trenches of the pre glee world with his fellow queer population. Because he wasn’t, so sorry Josh but I do get to judge tommy - he treated Abby appallingly and while she had a lot of red flags, Tommy has way more and that is not ok.

[thinwhitedoc]

SHERLOCK | Martin Freeman as John Watson

[can-i-get-a-yippee]

Eddie may be depressed and on the verge of a breakdown but damn does he look good 🥰🥰

[itsthegirlinthebowtie]

hey I am still not over this please send help

[raisinushigher]

fuck this show

[sabrinasprincess]

ALEX MAHONE Prison Break | S04E16

[coconut530]

mARTch 25: Try a New Art Style (ft. a panel of the webtoon The Bind Prince)